Hello faithful readers! (if I have any left at this point 😛 ) I know I’ve been very hit and miss with this blog. I was thinking about it the other day and wondering how I wanted to continue with my creative outlets and I decided I didn’t want to stop writing, as it’s probably my best creative outlet, but I had a major epiphany as I was thinking about it:
At the outset when I wanted to write this blog, I did it because I needed a place I could go to unpack all the business surrounding my coming out and leaving my church and just kind of telling my story. I had just hundreds of thoughts swirling around in my head and my mind is the kind that just doesn’t shut up. I often go to bed listening to music so my mind has something singular to focus on to drown out all the noise, otherwise my brain just kicks around thought after thought, scenario after scenario, analyzing everything that’s happened that day, thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow, the next day, the next week, and on and on.
This blog was and is extremely therapeutic for me because it allowed me to take all those random thoughts and work through them by putting them down on paper (digital paper?) and allow me to work through all of the random emotions and thoughts that come with going through what I did. The other purpose was to share my story with friends and family members in a more succinct way so people might understand me a little bit better.
With all of that said about why I started the blog, and I think the reason I haven’t been writing as much lately.. is because…
I am in a completely different place than I was a year and some change ago. So much has happened that it’s almost kind of staggering how fast it all went down and how far I’ve come in the last two years. So much is different and better, and yet so much of it fantastically the same. I’m out, happy, in a loving, committed relationship, have found a lot of peace in my searching, and don’t know that I need to use this blog in the way I have been in the past. Even the title to me now makes me laugh at how dark and serious everything felt at that time. It’s funny what even a year’s perspective can give you in this journey.
So what does that mean for the blog? Well, I know I want to continue writing, in some fashion. I don’t know if I want to keep this blog and just change the purpose, try to rename it somehow, or just scrap it altogether and create a fresh new blog with a fresh new design, perspective, and purpose something that is more broad and encompasses more of my interests than just my coming out and dealing with leaving a religion.
I’ve also flirted with the idea of video blogging in addition to writing to explore that avenue and maybe a podcast of some kind, but I’m just not sure.
I would love any comments, suggestions or thoughts as I mull this over in the coming few days. Feel free to leave a comment here or on Facebook if that’s where you found it and give me your two cents.
Love and thanks,